Sunday, July 3, 2011


Those to whom much has been given sometimes suffer from arrogance; or rather the people around them suffer. Arrogance is doubly a pity, because the talents of the arrogant serve primarily themselves. The arrogant assumes his views and opinions are The Truth. In arrogance, natural confidence goes sadly awry. Rather than the self-assurance born of knowing his own strengths and limitations, arrogance admits no limits. The arrogant brooks no weakness in himself and may even secretly rejoice to find flaws in others. But imperfections are inherent in being human, so the arrogant, like everyone else, always has feet of clay, however well hidden they may be. Fearing exposure, haughtiness forms a hard shell masking inner emptiness.
(Inner Frontier at
The best way to deal with an arrogant person is to understand why he is being arrogant. This may sound odd, but the truth is, as soon as you know the reason behind his arrogance you will pity him.
Arrogant people think that they are always right, they think that they know the best answers to all life problems and they think that they are better than most of the ordinary people. Arrogance is no more than a shield that covers inner emptiness and sometimes an inferiority complex.
Arrogance is a defense mechanism used by the subconscious mind in order to prevent further criticism. If someone had a terrible childhood and if he was hurt by others he may develop arrogance in order to prevent further criticism from hurting him, the trick usually works, because if someone criticized him he can simply devalue him and assume that he is worthless.
Arrogant behavior can be a result of feeling neglected. If someone felt that he is not getting all the attention he deserves, he may unconsciously become arrogant just to attract some of the lost attention.
Arrogant people are single minded, they either think that they are superior to others or inferior to them. This arrogant person who is intimidating you feels inferior to someone else because this is how his mind works, this arrogance may be nothing more than a way to cover this feelings of inferiority he experiences when dealing with someone else.
(Dealing With Arrogant People, Written by M.Farouk Radwan, MSc. at
Be arrogant if you wish. Look down on others and treat them poorly, if you wish. But realize that if you do so, you're only allowing your own inner weaknesses to shine through, and you're not fooling anyone. Not the people around you, who hold you in disdain, not God who made you and loves you and knows all about you, and not yourself.
And for those who must deal with arrogance on a regular basis, please keep in mind that arrogant people treat you poorly only because they're needier than you, and they haven't yet admitted to themselves that they are needy. They need and deserve your compassion, not your anger.
They stride among us. Their eyes wary, their armor buckled, their words pre-sharpened. They hold themselves superior. They are haughty, imperious, and disdainful. There is one notion they hold dear: They are better than you. "Arrogance," Webster tells us, is "that species of pride which extols the worth or importance of one's self to an undue degree." This is not healthy self esteem. This is not brimming confidence. This is a "proud contempt of others."
People build their arrogance from different foundations. Some start with money, others with intellect, education, lineage, job status, good looks, and athleticism. Some allow their arrogance to sprout from even the most obscure hobbies or traits. Arrogance can be based on real qualities or possessions: a genius IQ, a staggering bank account. It can just as easily be based on illusion: a 'brilliant' strategist who gleans every last idea from others, a 'millionaire' who owns nothing more than a generous line of credit.
Many people bristle at arrogance, quickly asserting themselves or rejecting the speaker. Others must suffer quietly as the arrogant person is in a position of power. Some take a person's arrogance as a signal of importance. "She must be somebody to act like that." Fans can be willing to excuse the arrogance of someone whose achievements or skills they admire. "When you play the horn like he does, you're allowed to be a jerk."
(Human Solutions Humaines at
There are three kinds of arrogance. There is the most surface sort of arrogance that seeks to justify sin. Often this will take the form of saying to ourselves, "But no one was hurt."
If the sin is against another, this arrogance blames the other, or a third party. We see this in the seven year old boy who isn't watching where he is going, and rams into a wall and loudly proclaims, "I didn't do it!"
The third form of arrogance is the most interior. It deposits itself just a few layers from our soul when we first commit any act of arrogance. This arrogance afflicts the entirety of humanity - all who have not sought it out in themselves and cut it out, and have remained watchful for its return. This is an arrogance that deceives us into thinking we know best. It is held up and supported by pride. It is this arrogance that makes us an easy mark for any temptation that may present itself to us.
(On Sin, Arrogance, and Peeling an Onion, By Steven Clark at
Some people become arrogant because they are afraid of losing their power. They are in good standing right now and they don't want to come down. Arrogance gives them a certain distance. These powerful people can find that arrogant behavior gives them an air of invulnerability, renders them slightly untouchable. "Others may be less likely to challenge me if what I have seems out of reach." It is easier for powerful people to cast an arrogant eye on others. They do, after all, have some tangible 'evidence' of their positions. Psychologists Steven Spencer and Susan Fiske find that people in positions of power tend to stereotype more. This is because they often don't consider personal, distinguishing details about others and they need to defend their decisions.
(Human Solutions Humaines at
"Arrogance" looks awfully much the same. The person is aware of his skills and talents in an area and assumes leadership in that area. The only difference is that those around him or her are bothered by it. For some reason, that control feels pushy and out of place. The observer is inclined to think, "Who does he think he is?" There seems to be a divide between the individual's self-assessment and that of onlookers.
That runs us right into the next question: Who's responsible for that — the person or the spectators? After all, if beauty is in the eye of the beholder, wouldn't that also be true for another person's talents and management? Perhaps, when there is a difference of opinions, the arrogance lies not with the person in charge but with the viewers. Perhaps it is the viewers who have misplaced arrogance rather than the presumptive leader. How are we to tell?
Here's one clue: A person who knows his (or her) strengths, also knows his weaknesses. You'll frequently find a person who is proud and takes leadership roles in one domain, deferring to others in different domains of activity. The arrogant person won't do that. The arrogant person seems to know everything about everything and won't give up a stronghold on anything. Thus, in judging who the arrogant person really is, ask yourself: Which one of these two people thinks he or she knows everything about everything? Which one has all the answers on all subjects? That's one clue.
(Which Is It: Pride or Arrogance? By Dr. Debby Schwarz Hirschhorn at

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